I Can Make It Rain
You've heard, perhaps, that we had the pool demolished. Destruction gave way to 100 cubic yards of fill, which gave way to a backyard that Edward is now given to describe as "so dirty."
Which leads to our new semi-super power: The ability to make it rain by planting grass seed. Now, knowing that rain makes plants grow, you might think that this would be a good thing, but sadly, you would be wrong. Because our new semi-super power isn't to make it rain a little bit, in an amount that would nuture new grass seed. Rather, it is to make it rain a hell of a lot — think of your thunderstorms, your 24-hour-long soakings, your it's-oppressive-to-walk-the-dog downpours. You know, the kind of rain that makes the grass seed all run down the sloped yard to the bottom, where it collects in the little depressions (where, admittedly, it grows fantastically) leaving all kinds of bare patches of so-dirty. So anyway, this has happened twice, now.
So anybody who needs a bunch of rain on any particular day, drop me a line, and I'm sure I can arrange to plant fifty bucks worth of grass seed the day before.
Comments
It's the superpower thing. And you've gotta admit, this is at least as useful as being "off the rack boy."
Not impressed.
When I was living in Japan and had no access to a clothes dryer, I discovered that I had the power to create black torrents of rain by merely hanging laundry out on the line and then going away from my home.
In Texas, that power has become transmogrified... now all I must do is say "I'll mow the lawn later this evening, when it cools off". Presto! Rain!
LOL! All homeowners have that superpower to one degree or another. Through the power of exquisitely bad timing, I can make it rain that hard with only TEN dollars of grass seed! Top that if you can.
Do you think that power would still work in LA? Cuz,DUDE!